


Just Like Heaven

by ConfettiGal (sunfloweryouth), sunfloweryouth



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, Self-Indulgent, Slow Burn, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-07-20 00:11:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19982854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunfloweryouth/pseuds/ConfettiGal, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunfloweryouth/pseuds/sunfloweryouth
Summary: Aster Bloom is a talented 6th year potions student. But this year at Hogwarts is different, her feelings for the brooding potions master have changed. Nothing has ever felt more right and more wrong at the same time. Aster now has a choice to make, follow your heart or do whats supposed to be right. Sometimes secrets don't stay secrets forever.Snape sees an opportunity to try again with the girl he thought was his first and only love, the love he thought he had lost forever. Another chance to sculpt the future he desires so very much.(Snape x original female character)





	1. The First Week

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This is the first fan fiction I'm writing in a long time but after watching all the Harry Potter movies again I feel a calling to write this one. I haven't been involved with the Harry Potter fandom in about 6 years (when I was like 13/14) and so if I get some things wrong it is what it is. This first chapter is short too, but I promise they will get longer. Regardless, I hope you enjoy <3 If you feel the need to give me any suggestions then feel free to comment <3 I also made a spotify playlist that will have all the music I listened to while writing this, so if you like to listen to music while you read that is available. (it has some good bangers in it and I will be updating it as I write so give it a try!)  
> Spotify link: http://tiny.cc/qlkfaz

The heels of my shoes click methodically on the stone of the dungeon floor as I make my way down to the Potions room on the first day of classes. The cold that radiates from the walls washes over me in goose bumps and I shift the books I'm carrying from one arm to the other so I can rub my bare arms with what warmth is left in my hands. I'll have to remember to wear a sweater next time I'm down here. I walk into the doorway of the class room and I'm greeted with the comforting and familiar scent of the potions room that I had become so accustom to over the past 6 years at Hogwarts. I glance around at the many still empty student desks before choosing a seat near the back of the room. As people file into class the hum of excited chatter begins to fill the air. I twirl a quill in between my fingers and watch the specks of dust float through the air from the light streaming in through the small windows lining the walls. Then as if turning a fan on in a room full of smoke the chatter stops as the potion master himself walks into the room briskly with his cape following him like a black cloud, swirling around his legs. He lifts his arm and flicks his wrist and the small windows letting in light snap close. He quickly gets to the front of the room and then looks around for a moments.

"Congratulations." He lingers on the last syllable of that word as he moves his eyes around the room. "As NEWT level students I am expecting a high level of-" He is interrupted by the sound of the heavy wooden door opening. I turn my head and watch as Harry Potter and Ron Weasley quickly walk into the room and sit in the first two empty seats they can find. "Being able to make it to class on time, Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley. 10 points from Gryffindor." It sounds like he is spitting poison as he speaks Harry's name. I can't help but smile slightly at the expression on Rons face. I then turn my eyes to Snape, he glances up at me and for a moment his dark eyes liner on mine for what must only of been a couple seconds but felt like forever. Another wave of goose bumps rush over me as I feel my heart begin to beat quicker and my stomach feels like its twisting into itself. I quickly force myself to look away and focus on twirling the pen in my hands . _What the hell was that?_ This kind of thing has never happened before. I've spent so much time around Snape, why is he getting me so flustered now? Just by looking at me? I can barely focus just enough to jot down the assignment that Snape gives us, my mind is elsewhere. I'm watching the way his hands work and the way his hair moves around his face, listening to the cadences of his voice when suddenly people start packing their bags and standing up. I blink out of my daze and stack my books and hurriedly stand up, turning to leave. Before I'm out the door I turn around at catch Snape staring at me. It suddenly occurs to me how quiet the classroom has become with everyone gone and only him and I left. 

"Uh, goodbye Professor." I say feeling my cheeks get hot as I stumble over my words. He opens his mouth as if he was going to say something but nothing comes out. I grip my books tighter and quickly walk out of the room. _Why am I letting him get to me like that?_ I try my hardest to get him out of my mind as I weave my way through the halls wanting to find somewhere quiet to look over my notes before my next class. 

"Hey Aster!" I hear someone call my name. I turn around and see Neville waving his hand at me, trying to come towards me while bumping into other students. 

"Hi Neville." I say giving him a smile as I stop walking to let him catch up to me. 

"How was your summer?" He asks as he begins to walk with me. 

"Oh fine, what about yours?" 

"Amazing! I've been doing lots of reading and while reading One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi I think I've figured out where we can find an excellent source of Wiggentree. Although we'll need to get past the Bowtruckle-" 

"Thats great Neville. Tell me all about it in Herbology later. I've got something to do before class starts, ok?" I touch his forearm lightly and watch his face until he nods. 

"Oh okay sure." He waves at me then bumps into more people trying to turn around and walk the opposite way we were walking. I break away from the crowds of confused first years and find a quiet stairwell to sit in. I unpack my notes from potions class and try to make sense of them and they are basically useless. I sigh and rest my chin on my hand. _I wonder if I can get today's notes off of Hermione._

***

The rest of the first week my mind wanders back to potion class. Whats wrong with me? Its Snape for the love of God, the same professor who we all made fun of in first year for having a big nose and stringy black hair. The same professor whos class everyone dreaded going to because of the way he scolds people or the way he enforces even the most minor rules. How many times had they all mocked him for something he had said in class and tried to mess with him in any way that they could without getting caught. When ever anyone asked me in the past what I thought about Snape my answer was always the same, "Hes not as bad as everyone thinks." Its true. If you just showed up every day and payed close attention he didn't seem to mind you. Hes never been cold or harsh towards me because I've never given him a reason to. _Maybe its because you want him to like you._ I shake my head. Why on earth would I want him to like me? 

"Can you hand me that book in my bag?" The sound of Nevilles voice pulls me from my thoughts. 

"Oh, uh yeah." I reach into Nevilles bag and hand him the worn book. We're standing on the edge of the forbidden forest trying to find leaping toadstools for Herbology.

"You seem off today." Neville begins to leaf through the pages. 

"Yeah I'm sorry I've got a lot on my mind. I wonder why Sprout sent us looking for leaping toadstools. Isn't that like second year stuff? Not NEWT sixth years?" I say rolling my eyes. 

"I'm sure she has a reason. Besides were not only looking for those right? Didn't Sprout give you a list?" 

"Uh, no?"

"Sure she did! Everyone else got one too, I'm sure of it." Neville takes his bag from me and starts looking through it. 

"Is it in there?" 

"Nope, it must be back in the classroom." 

"I'll go get it. I left it there so I don't mind. You find those toadstools." I say turning and climbing over the longer grass to get back on the trail. Its beautiful out today, its warm enough for it to be comfortable but a soft breeze moves the tree branches above me which keeps it from being muggy out. I'm looking down at the ground looking at the patterns that the sun makes on the ground through the trees when I hear a deep silky voice that stops me in my tracks.

"Skipping class on the first day of school, Miss Bloom?" My heart skips a beat as I look up to see Snape standing on the trail in front of me. 

"Oh- oh no, I'm just heading back to the herbolo-" 

"Don't _lie_ to me. You've just earned detention in my room tomorrow evening." He practically spit those words at me. My heart sinks and my heart feels like its going a mile a minute. 

"But sir, I really was just going back-" 

"Detention." He says briskly. His eyes catch mine for a moment too long. His prolonged stare is beginning to make me uncomfortable, it feels like he is tearing me open with his eyes. 

"Is there something wrong, sir?" I ask gently.

"No," He says slowly. "Its just that you remind me of someone." He says before walking away quickly leaving me alone. Detention? I've never had detention before. From Snape as well? My stomach twists and I feel the heat of embarrassment wash over me, turning me more red than my hair. That also means I'll be alone with him tomorrow. I'm mortified that I received my first detention, but I'm also excited at the same time.


	2. Baneberry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little longer, so I hope you enjoy the length. I also want to acknowledge that events in this wont line up with what happens in the original story, just go with it and enjoy this for what it is!  
> Spotify link: http://tiny.cc/qlkfaz

The dungeon feels colder tonight. I've been a complete bundle of nerves all last night and today leading up to the detention I have with Snape. Each step closer to the potions room makes my heart beat quicker. For a moment I think back to the first day of classes and a wave of goosebumps washes over me. I glance down and see my nipples poking through my shirt from the cold. I rub my fingers over them in an attempt to get them not hard again but it doesn't work very well. I glance at the watch on my wrist and its 7:57 pm. I pick up my pace to make sure I'm not late. I stop right in front of the potions classroom door to catch my breath and run my fingers through my hair. I push the heavy door open and make my way into the room. Snape is sitting behind his desk marking a tall pile of essays with another smaller pile of papers sitting near the edge of his desk. 

"Good evening, professor." I say hesitantly. He finally glances up at me for a moment, but says nothing and points to the chair placed in front of his desk. I quickly cross the room and take a seat in the chair. He sets down his quill and stands up, taking a couple long strides across the room he picks up a small wooden crate used for holding small potion bottles off of a desk and sets them in front of me. 

"A simple cure for boils. My first year students made them, you should have no trouble marking these for me." He sits back behind his desk taking his quill in his hand. He points to the smaller of the pile of pages. "Notate your mark on those pages." He says before going back to marking the essays in front of him. I carefully pick up the first potion in the crate. It has a small piece of parchment stuck to it with the name Carrie sloppily written on it. I place it on the desk and reach for the stack of papers and begin to leaf through it to find the page with the name Carrie also written on it. When I find the page I pull it out and place it beside the potion bottle then turn my attention back to the potion itself. I hold the slightly tinted bottle up to the light to see its blue contents shimmering and write on the paper that it is the correct colour. I pull the cork stopper out and a long stream of pink smoke comes out of it. I put the stopper back on and continue to fill out the marking sheet and then put it beside me to move on to the next. Snape snatches the paper from me and reads it carefully. He brings his eyes up to meet mine for a second before putting the paper back where I had placed it originally, apparently finding no issue with the marking I had done. I continue on working until I'm almost half way when I pick up a bottle with blood red contents in it. I bring it up to the light and swirl it slightly. 

"Well, thats not right" I say slightly laughing. I look up at Snape and he's not writing but hes looking at me, with one hand brought up to his chin and his other hand rolling the neck of his quill between his fingers. "Its red." I say breaking the silence. He breaks his eye contact with me and sits up slightly straighter. 

"Open it" He says. I try to pull out the stopper but struggle to do so. I bite my lip slightly and pull it with more force and it finally pops out, the contents bubbling up over the brim of the bottle and spilling onto my hands. As the bubbling contents begin to touch my skin it feels like my skin is melting off. I drop the bottle in shock and cry out slightly as I stand up quickly, knocking my chair back in the process. The bottle lands on the floor with a sharp crack. Snape stands up and walks around the table as I fall to my knees. The pain on my hands is blinding and white hot as I feel tears well up behind my eyes, threatening to spill over. Snape kneels beside me and takes my wrist in his hands and holds it up to look at it before straightening up slightly to inspect the bottle, which is now littering the floor with shards of glass. 

"Baneberry potion." He says as he stands up, pulling me up with him. "Follow me." He says as he begins to walk out of the room, not letting go of his firm grasp on my wrist. I stumble over my feet as I have to run slightly to keep in stride with the much taller man. A big hot tear finally rolls down my cheek and lands on the floor as he leads me down several corridors. The hallways are dimly lit now and I'm sure everyone must of gone to bed a short time ago. Snape pulls out his wand to use as a light as we walk. Well, he was walking, I was in a constant tangle of trying to keep with his fast paced walk and not passing out from the pain. We finally come down the hall way with Snapes office. He stops and pulls out a heavy looking key ring and begins to file through them for the right one. I'm suddenly painfully aware of how tightly hes holding my wrist, how he smells musky and earthy, and the small look of what I think is concern on his face. I glance down at my hands as Snape finally gets the door open. The red potion has run off my hands now for the most part are an alarming fleshy pink, with white peaking out around the parts where my skin is thin like my knuckles and around my fingers. 

"Is my skin falling off?" My voice is much more shaky than I would of liked. Snape flicks his wand and a dim lamp lights up the room. Tall shelves line the walls with bottles and bottles of what look to be creature parts sit on them. He then grabs me by my hips and lifts me up to put me on the chair sat behind the desk. 

"Not for long, I have an antidote somewhere." He says as he quickly begins to open drawers and riffle through their contents. I close my eyes hard trying desperately to keep the tears from spilling out. I can barely move my fingers at this point and the pain is making me feel light headed. Dark blotchy ink like spots cloud around the sides of my vision. Snape finally finds the potion he was looking for and returns to me. He kneels in front of me and much more gently now he takes my wrist and carefully pours the contents of a amber glass bottle onto my hand before quickly moving onto my other hand. I jump at how cold the clear blue slightly viscous liquid is as he gently takes the tip of his index and middle finger and smooths it into my skin. As he passes his fingers over my skin I notice my skin turn from a raw fleshy colour back to my pale regular complexion. Once my hands were covered and not burning Snape looks up at me. 

"How can a cure for boils go so bad?" My head feels fuzzy. 

"I believe that it was done on purpose Miss Bloom. I gave a group of particularly disruptive first years a months worth of detention and I wouldn't put it past them to pull something like this." His voice, which is usually commanding and carries a lot of authority to it is unusually gentle. He opens a drawer in the desk beside my legs and pulls out a bit of scrap fabric and wipes my hands on it. Once the clear jelly like antidote is removed it reveals pale white lace like scars all over my hands where the potion burned me. 

"How long will those be there?" I ask, giving a hard blink and one remaining tear falls down my cheek. Snape gently wipes away the tear before it falls off my face. 

"No more than a month." He holds my eye contact as he says this. _Hes so close I could kiss him._ He suddenly stands up very quickly. "Leave now. You should have left a while ago." He says harshly, a stark contrast from the gentle kindness he showed me moments ago. Confused, I stand up and walk towards the door. 

"uh, well thank you for the help, Professor." I say trying to catch his eyes again but he won't look at me. I step out into the hall way hesitantly and he shuts the door behind me roughly. I walk through the empty dark halls back to the Slytherin dorms with a foggy head. When I finally slip into my bed nothing feels real. _Did any of that even happen at all?_ If you told me I just imagined all that I would believe you more than if you told me that was reality.

***

Sleeping in on a Sunday is a rarity at Hogwarts not to be undervalued. Its a blissful 9:30 when I open my eyes. The dorm room is empty with a breeze making half opened curtains flutter, letting in the morning light. I eventually push myself up into a sitting position and move my tangled mess of red curls out of my face. I reach blindly for a hair tie that I know will be sitting on the night table beside my bed and pull my hair into a big loose bun when I notice how hard it is to bend my finger joints. I look at my hands in the dim lighting in the room and watch as the light reflects slightly off of the fresh scars covering my hands. _I guess that really did happen._ I get dressed in a thin burgundy t shirt and a denim spaghetti strap dress over top of it and head down to the main hall to pick up some breakfast. The corridors are littered with the occasional students enjoying the day off. I grab some assorted fruit from the main hall and decide to make my way outside to eat my breakfast. I'm walking down the trail that leads to the black lake when I hear running behind me. I turn and see Neville coming towards me like a bat out of hell. 

"Aster!" Hes breathing heavily from running and his cheeks are pink. 

"Good morning." I say laughing slightly as he puts his hands on his knees to catch his breath. "Whats the hurry?" 

"I wasn't able to find you last night, I wanted to ask how your detention went with Snape?" He asks as we sit against an old large tree that overlooks the black lake. Thinking about last night makes my face heat up. 

"Oh it was fine. I just marked first year potions." I say pulling an apple out of my pocket and taking a bite from it. 

"Thats it? Thats nothing! Last year he made me disembowel a barrel full of horned toads." He says picking up a rock and throwing it towards the still water. It lands with a plop and creates ripples through the water. I laugh remembering him telling me about that last year. 

"Well you did melt six cauldrons." I say between giggles. 

"Yeah, but I didn't mean to." He sighs throwing another rock. 

"Well Snape clearly didn't see it that way."

"He picks favorites. He would of been much more harsh towards you if you we'rent a Slytherin." 

"Maybe." I watch the ripples in the water expand within each other. 

"You've always been a favorite of his." Neville rolls his eyes. My mind quickly wanders to the moment when Snape wiped the tear from my eyes last night. A wave of goose bumps washes over me at the thought and I have to shake my head slightly to bring myself back to the current moment. 

"Are you cold?" Neville asks me, taking notice of the raised bumps on my exposed arms. 

"Yeah uh, a little." I say with out thinking. Neville sits up and takes off the thick black and beige wool cardigan with heavy metal buttons that he was wearing off and hands it to me.

"Here" 

"Thanks Neville." I say giving him a smile as I put it on, I can feel the warmth from his body still in the fabric as I pull it closer to my skin. 

***

All Monday I feel like I'm going to be sick with nervousness. In past years, potions class always excited me and was a class I looked forward to. Now the thought of walking back into the potions room makes my stomach twist. It takes everything in me to keep myself from turning around and walking as far away from that room as I can. The door to the potions room is open and I walk into it. When I see Snape standing with his back facing away from the door a new flurry of anxiety rushes through me. I manage to sit in my usual chair. I take out my note book and a quill and watch Snape as he prepares for the days lesson. Finally once everyone had filled into the room Snape turns around. 

"Turn to page 38 of your books. We will be making wit-sharpening potions today." The sound of books being opened and pages being turned follows the sound of his voice. The entire lesson I try to catch Snapes eyes, but he avoids looking at me all together. In fact, he doesn't acknowledge my existence at all. I just want him to look at me, verify that something happened on Saturday. 

"What colour is your potion, Aster?" Neville asks me, pulling me back down to reality. 

"Oh, uh yellow." I tuck my hair behind my ear and peak over Nevilles cauldron which contains a dark green liquid. I shake my head slightly and laugh. "How did you manage that?" 

"Well I don't know! How do I fix it?" He says in a slightly hushed tone, trying to not draw attention of the potions master. I put my hand on his forearm and point to a bottle of Armadillo Bile. 

"You'll need to mix more of that into it." I say smiling up at him. "Until it turns yellow." 

"Bloom, Longbottom. More working, less talking." I nearly jump out of my skin when I hear Snapes booming voice from behind me. I take my hand off of Neville and turn around. 

"Oh, uh yes sir." I say looking up into his eyes but he avoids them still. He turns quickly and walks away. Would I be self absorbed to think that that was jealousy? Yes, probably. He's my professor, not a crush or something. I need to get out of my head, I need to stop this. I pick up my Advanced potions book and hold it against my hip as I look back over my cauldron before glancing back up at Snape, who is looking into Rons cauldron with a look of disgust. I know I shouldn't want to keep whatever this _thing_ is that Snape and I have going on going, but I want to. I want to so bad. 


	3. Edge of nowhere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spotify link: http://tiny.cc/qlkfaz  
> Here is an extra long chapter! I've been super busy getting ready to go to college and thats been consuming most of my time. When college starts I don't know how much free time I'll have to write but I'll try to write as often as I can.

Its been nearly two weeks. Two weeks of desperately trying to catch Snapes attention, to have him acknowledge me at all in the slightest. The only time I ever catch him looking at me is when I have my back turned to him or when I'm deeply invested into my work. Every attempt I make to talk to him he swiftly avoids, like hes always one step ahead of me. It's like he knows what I'm going to do before I even do it, just as I'm thinking it. I'm sitting in the potions room before class when I hear someone sit beside me. 

"Hey Aster." I look over and see Harry sitting beside me. 

"Oh, hi Harry. Whats up?" I say turning towards him. 

"I'm fine, I was just wondering if you would be able to help me with herbology work later on." He smiles at me. "It's just that I know you're really good at it."

"Sure Harry. When would you like to do that?" I say pushing a couple strands of my hair behind my ear. 

"Tonight? After dinner" 

"Sounds good." I watch Snape out of the corner of my eye turn sharply to look at us. I turn so I'm sitting sideways in my chair and swing my leg over my knee and let my foot rest against Harrys shin. "Where would you like to meet up?" 

"What about the courtyard outside of the charms room?" It feels like I have laser beams being shot into the side of my head. As casually as possible I look over at Snape and the look of anger and intensity on his face sends shivers throughout my body. He doesn't even look away when I look back at him. I take a deep breath in before turning my attention back to Harry.

"Sure, I'll see you there." I say trying to as casually as possible rub the top of my foot against Harrys leg. My heart beat is picking up as I quickly look at Snape to see his reaction and he has the same expression on his face. Hes still looking at me though, this is the most hes looked at me in weeks. 

"Yeah, I'll see you there." Harry says as he stands up, putting his hand on my shoulder before he walks away to go rejoin Ron and Hermione. I swing my legs around so I'm sitting in my chair properly and my eyes meet Snapes. His expression has changed though, hes look at me with a look of what I can only describe as hurt and anger. I take a deep breath in and fiddle with my quill in my hands. I can't help but feel like I've just done something wrong, even though I know I haven't. 

All throughout the rest of the class Snape is particularly cold towards Harry. Any misstep Harry takes takes Snape is quick to take house points or give a rude comment. At the end of class I purposely take my time cleaning up and packing up my bag until its only Snape and I left in the room. I carefully watch him as he sits behind his desk sorting through papers. 

"I'll see you tomorrow, professor." I say softly as I throw my bag on my shoulder. He looks up at me and watches me for a moment.

"Ok, Miss. Bloom." He says slowly. I linger for a moment before I walk away. I feel his eyes on me as I shut the door, I can't help but let a smile cross my face. 

***

I sit on the cold stone bench located in the courtyard outside of the charms room Swinging my feet lightly as the sun is beginning to set. With the sun leaving behind the tall stone towers and casting shadows across the courtyard it brings a cold bite. The sky is fading from a pale blue into a light pink and orange swirl and there is a slight fall breeze blowing my hair gently.

"Hey Aster, sorry I'm a little late." I feel Harry sit beside me and his thigh presses against mine. 

"Hows it going Harry?" I ask turning towards him. 

"I'm doing well. How are you?" 

"I'm good. The sky looks beautiful tonight doesn't it?" I ask crossing my leg and shifting towards Harry. 

"Lovely." He says grinning. He lets the stack of books in his arms rest on his thighs. 

"Lets see what you've got there." I say lifting the first book up. 

"This is an Astronomy book, Harry." I say smiling and I move on to the next book. "So is this one." 

"Oh, well I was distracted when I grabbed my books I guess." He moves the books to sit on the bench beside him. He moves one of his arms to rest behind me on the bench and his fingers find their way to the sleeve of my shirt. "Sorry about that." 

"Its fine." I say much softer than before, noticing how close he is to me. In the pit of my stomach this feels, wrong. My skin feels like its crawling under Harrys touch. Its not even that I don't like Harry, it feels like this is cheating in some way. My heartbeat picks up at the thought. A small voice in the back of my head says _keep this going_ , so I do. "I was wanting to spend more time with you anyways." I can recognize the words being said as in my voice, but they don't sound like me at all. 

"Well thats good, because I was thinking the same thing." 

Time feels like its slow as we sit together and talk. Well, Harry does most of the talking. Most of my responses are on autopilot, my mind isn't with me on that bench. The sun slowly but surely sets with a flood of vibrant colours and leaving a chill that hangs in the air. I slowly work my way closer to Harry as the cold violates my bare legs and sends waves of goose bumps over my body. The lanterns around the courtyard light themselves as the last bits of light disappear into the night. A silence hangs in the air for a moment before I realize Harry is waiting for me to respond. I sit up slightly and lift my head from where it was resting on Harrys chest to look at him. "I'm sorry can you repeat that?" 

"I asked if you would like to go to the Autumn Ball with me." 

"Oh, yeah Harry. I'd love to." The words come out of my mouth faster than I can think about them. 

"Good." Harry says smiling. Our faces are so close together as I feel his hand move from where it was resting on my knee to my jawline. Just behind Harrys head I see movement in the dark where the lanterns light doesn't reach. Snape takes a couple long strides into the light before stopping when he sees us. His icy stare catches my eyes as I quickly flick my gaze from Harry to Snape. Its too late to do anything now, as Harry gently leans into my face and kisses my lips. My heart rate picks up immediately as Harry pulls away from me. 

"Get your slimy hands off of her, Potter!" Snapes voice cuts the air and causes Harry to jump back. Snape crosses the courtyard in a matter of seconds and he grabs Harry by the shoulder and pushes him to the other side of the bench, causing the books piled beside him to fall to the ground with a thud. 

"I wasn't doing anything." Harry says standing up sharply as he grabs his books from the ground. 

"Thats 15 points." He snarls. "Get out of here, Potter. I don't want to see your face again today." Harry looks at Snape, mouth open as if hes holding back arguing. Snape sharply turns to Harry, his cloak causing a gust of wind on my legs. "Go." He says slowly and sternly. Harry lets out an irritated sigh and walks away, turning back to look at me every so often before he disappears into the castle. Snape and I sit in a long painful silence. I swear he can probably hear my heart beating in my chest. I finally get the guts to say something. 

"You didn't have to do that." My voice is much more wobbly than I wanted it to be. Snape looks at me, a strong contrast is cast on his stony hard features from the flickering lights. He holds my gaze for a moment before looking away. I shake my head and sigh. "You won't even look at me." I say softly. I carefully watch Snapes expression change from anger to something much softer. I feel tears of anger and hurt well up behind my eyes. "What did I do wrong?" I say even more quietly than before, barely a whisper. 

"You didn't do anything." Snape says, finally looking at me. 

"Why do you keep ignoring me?" I stand up and cross my arms. Snape turns away from me slightly so I can't see his face, letting my question hang in the air. I feel my breath catch in my throat as I reach out my hand to touch right above his elbow. The silence this time doesn't sting so much "Severus?" He pulls away from me. 

"Thats Professor to you Bloom. It will always be Professor. I don't know what you think is going on here but I can assure you that you will be thoroughly disappointed." His words hurt like poison. I take a deep breath and catch my composure. 

"I don't believe that." I say flatly. 

"Well you better start to. Nothing has, is, or will happen. Any _feelings_ are irrelevant. Its best that you don't talk to me." He says coldly. The tears that have been threatening to pour out begin to roll down my cheeks. I cover my face with my hands and close my eyes hard to try and keep the tears in. Despite my best efforts a couple sobs escape and I squat down with my knees against my chest. After a moment, I feel a hand on my shoulder. His touch is gentle and warm. 

"Aster-" His voice is deep and and has a much more gentle tone than it did before. This sends a wave of hot anger through me. I stand up quickly and take a step away from where he is knelt. 

"No! You don't get to just do that. You can't say all that and then do- that!" I roughly wipe away the tears from my face. I wait for a moment but he says nothing, its like hes looking past me. I turn on my heels and walk away quickly. I just get away from him, from all of this.

***

I feel sick when I wake up in the morning. My head swirls and my stomach twists. I turn over in my bed and pull my blankets up above my head to block the lights and the hum of voices from other girls getting ready for the day. I don't feel like there is any way I could possibly interact with anyone today. I somehow drag myself out of bed and manage to get my uniform on. I'm walking out of the Slytherin dorm when a thought passes my mind, _don't go to classes today._ This sets it in stone for me, I turn in an instant and start walking the opposite way from the main hall. I'll just find somewhere to hang out for the day and keep to myself, I need time to figure out how I'm going to handle myself around Snape when I see him next. I decide that outside would probably be my best bet for not getting caught skipping. A rush of adrenaline rushes through me, I've never skipped classes like this before. Of course there were the couple times I'd not go to classes in my first year, but they were always because I had a test or an assignment I didn't complete and I needed extra time on. 

"Going somewhere Bloom?" My heart stops for a moment and I turn to see Draco making his way towards me, Crabbe and Goyle following him closely. 

"I'm taking a day off, Malfoy." Draco smiles at me and turns and gives a dismissive wave to Crabbe and Goyle, who shrug and walk away. 

"Well it looks like I am too, where are we going?" He lightly bumps his shoulder against mine as we start walking. 

"We?" 

"Yeah! You don't think you can just cut class without me, did you?" He laughs as we step out of the castle and into a courtyard that leads outside. I sigh and roll my eyes, knowing I won't be able to get rid of him now. 

"Well, I'm not going to be doing anything fun." 

"I'm sure we can find some fun." The methodical clicking of our shoes on the cobble stone ground are muffled out as we walk onto a dirt path. "Where would you like to go?" He asks me. I look over at him and the morning sun is lighting up his blonde hair. I shrug and toss my hair behind my shoulder. He steps in front of me and a smile lights up his face.

"I know a place, lets go!" He grabs my wrist and pulls me along the path towards the forbidden forest. 

"Where are we going?" I ask, trying not to trip over my feet. 

"You'll see, just come with me." Draco says, finally letting go of my wrist as we enter into the forbidden forest. We walk for what feels like forever, but must of only been 15 minutes before we arrive at a clearing in the thick forest. "Here we are." Draco says walking a head of me. The clearing is a small meadow with delicate flowers poking up between the long strands of grass. The forest abruptly ends at the end of the clearing, giving way to a cliff edge that over looks a large ravine. 

"Oh wow." I say as I pass through the meadow and make my way closer to the edge of the cliff where Draco is standing waiting for me. I take in the sight before me and carefully sit on the edge of the cliff. The rock overhanging the cliff is warm from the morning sun on the back of my legs. 

"It's pretty spectacular isn't it?" Draco sits beside me. "I've been here a couple times before, but never this early. I've only been here at sunset." A silence sits in the air, only the sound of birds and the wind rustling the leaves of the colour changing trees below us can be heard. Hogwarts looks stunning from here, the sun shimmers off of the morning dew still on the tall pointed roofs. 

"How have you been, Draco?" 

"Fine." He says shortly, scratching the back of his neck. 

"No, I said how have _you_ been. I feel like I've barely seen you at all this year, and when I do you're always walking away so quickly I can't catch up to you." I look over at him. He stays quiet for a moment before shrugging. 

"I guess I've got a lot of things on my mind." His tone is softer. He finally looks at me, "Everything is going to be okay though. I'm going to make things right for my Father." 

"How are you going to do that?" 

"Well I can't tell you. I mean it, I really can't. You'll know soon enough though." He shifts so hes facing more towards me. "I've been chosen though. To do this _thing_ and I can't stop now." I watch him for a moment before nodding. 

"You're a good person Draco, I'm sure you'll do whats best." I say, giving him a sympathetic smile. 

"I hope you're right." He turns back towards the cliff. I decide to change the subject. 

"How are you liking your classes this year?"

"Fine I guess. Most of my classes have _Potter_ in them, which puts a damper on the mood." He laughs, "That filthy mudblood too, Granger." I open my mouth in shock and slap his knee. 

"Hey watch it, I'm a mudblood." I say giggling. A wave of confusion washes over Dracos face. 

"You're a mudblood?" He asks slowly. 

"Yeah, didn't you know that?" I ask tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. 

"No I didn't, Bloom is an old wizarding family name." He says scrunching up his nose. 

"Am I filthy?" I ask tilting my head to the side and grinning. 

"uh- well," He stammers as I giggle watching him backpedal. "no, you're fine. I guess." His eyebrows knit together as he looks at me now. 

"My Mother is a wizard. I didn't really know her, she left my Father and I when I was very young. No one could really tie her down I guess." I pick up a small rock from beside me and let it drop off the cliff. "Thats what my Father always told me anyways. I think actually being a Mom was too much work for her." 

"Thats rough, do you know where she is now?" 

"No idea. Maybe its better that way, that I don't know her." 

"What was your Father like?" Draco asks bringing one knee up to his chest and resting his head against it and looks at me. 

"Hes a muggle. He is one of the most kind people I've ever met. Hes a car mechanic, so he fixes muggle cars." I say smiling at the thought of him. 

"So did you go to a muggle school before here?" 

"Yeah I did. They're not nearly as interesting as Hogwarts but they're alright I guess." 

"Thats actually fascinating. I've never really thought about muggles that much ever." 

"Well yeah. Muggles are actually pretty cool."

***

Draco and I sit on the edge of that cliff as the sun moves high above us in the sky and slowly begins to sink, the beginnings of the sunset begin to appear in the sky in front of us. We eat the food I had shoved in my backpack and talk about everything and anything, and sometimes nothing at all. 

"We can probably head back now, I don't want to get caught in the forest when its dark out." I say standing up and stretching my legs. 

"Yeah, that is probably a good idea" Draco says standing up beside me and brushing off his pants. We trek through the forbidden forest and back towards the castle. As were walking into the castle doors Draco stops me. 

"Hey Aster, can I ask you a question?" 

"Yeah sure." I say giving him a smile. 

"Are you going with anyone to the Autumn ball?" He asks. 

"Oh, yeah I am actually." I nervously laugh. 

"Oh! Well me too. Yeah I've already got a date." His tone changes from being relaxed to uncomfortable in a matter of seconds. "See you later Bloom." He turns and walks away quickly.

"Oh, bye Draco." I say as he makes his way down the corridor away from me. 


	4. Frozen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spotify link: http://tiny.cc/qlkfaz   
> Sorry this chapter took a while to put out, I've started back into college and its taking priority in my life right now. I don't know how consistently I'll be putting out more chapters but I'll do the best I can!

"Where were you?" I feel someone grab my arm as I'm walking towards the herbology classroom. I turn around and I'm greeted by Nevilles pink cheeks. 

"What?"

"Yesterday! Where were you?" 

"Oh," I shrug. "I had a lot on my mind yesterday, I needed to just take a day away from everything." I say biting my lip. 

"Wait, you mean you," He looks around, "Skipped class?" 

"Yeah, its not a big deal." 

"Yeah, well I'd be careful if I were you. You don't want to get expelled!" He says as we walk into the herbology room and take our seats. "I don't want you to get expelled." 

"I won't, I'll be careful Neville." I say giving him a smile. 

Class goes by too quickly. I try to live life in slow motion, trying to push off the time when I'll inevitably have to come face to face with Snape. What if hes cold to me now? Worse, what if he acts like nothing happened. What if he ignores me again? _I wouldn't blame him._ I'm just some student to him, I'm probably not worth possibly loosing your job over. Something deep within me is screaming that something happened. There was _something_ there that was real. When the time comes to go to potions class my legs feel like I have cement on them. Somehow I still manage to get myself to the hallway that leads to the potions room. I can hear my heartbeat in my ears as I push myself towards the door. I push open the door and quickly take my seat before looking around the rest of the room. The room is nearly full with people and Snape is at the front of the room in his desk. He looks up from his work and makes eye contact with me for a moment before I look away. I play with my quill nervously, half listening to conversations around the room. Out of the corner of my eye I see movement in front of me and I look up to see Snape standing infront of me. 

"I need to speak to you after class, Bloom." He says sternly. I shift in my seat and nod quickly and he turns and walks away. I feel eyes on me so I look around the room only to see Draco staring me down from the other side of the room. I give him a smile but his face is unchanging. I look away uncomfortably and go back to fumbling around with my quill. Class flies by way too fast, leaving me alone with Snape way too quickly. As the last person leaves the room I stay put in my seat. Snape stands up and gestures for me to follow him as he walks towards the door. I stand up and quickly walk to keep in pace with the much taller man. As we make our way down several hallways Snape looks back at me for a moment and seems to take notice of how I'm falling behind him and slows his pace slightly. He leads me to his office and as he opens the door a familiar scent rushes over me, bringing me right back to that night that feels like it was yesterday and years ago all at the same time. He points to a chair placed in front of his desk and takes a seat at the worn leather chair behind his desk. 

"Where were you and Mr. Malfoy yesterday?" He asks sitting back in his chair. 

"I don't know what you're talking about." I say quietly. 

"Don't lie." 

"I don't know what you'd like me to say, _Professor."_ I say looking away from him. 

"I've decided to let you off with a warning this time, Malfoy won't be so lucky." 

"What? Do you want me to say thank you?" I say crossing my arms and turning away slightly. A silence sits in the air for a moment.

"I- I shouldn't of let you think there was anything between us, Bloom. I apologize for that." I look up at him in confusion. Snapes apologizing? To me? 

"Thats a shame." I say softly. 

"What makes you say that?" 

"Because I know its not true." I say turning back to him and sitting more on the edge of my seat. "It doesn't feel true." I stand up from my seat and walk around the table to Snape. I lean forwards and gently kiss his cheek before pulling away and walking towards the door. "Think about it Severus." I say before leaving him. 

***

"You seem like you're in a better mood today." Neville says as he is rolling up the bottom of his pants to go into the black lake. We are trying to find Grindylow larva for herbology. I'm sitting in the long grass on the bank of the lake, cleaning out jars to put the larva in. 

"Thanks." I roll my eyes and laugh slightly. 

"I don't mean that in a mean way." He says putting his feet in the water. 

"Hows the water?" 

"Freezing!" He takes another step in clenching his teeth. I pick up the open text book sitting beside me and read it over. 

"Okay, so you're going to want to look about a foot in and they're going to be along the bottom of the lake just covered by the dirt." I say tucking a strand of hair behind my ear and looking back up at Neville. He sighs and rolls up the sleeves on his shirt before leaning over and sinking his arms into the water.

"How big are they?" He asks.

"A couple inches? It doesn't say, there is only pictures." I shrug. After a minute of searching Neville quickly stands up, a large larva in between his hands, wriggling and trying to escape. 

"The jar, Aster!" He says coming towards the shoreline. I grab an empty jar and kick off my shoes and pulling off my knee high socks in one swift motion, and taking a step into the water. I lean down and fill the jar up partly with water and then hold it out for Neville to put the squirming larva into the jar. Neville takes the jar from me and puts a lid on it. "Well would you look at that." He says holding it up to the light. 

"We got a fat one." I laugh. Neville hands me the jar and I take a closer look at it. 

"I'll grab another jar." He says holding out his hand to take the jar with the larva in it to shore. 

"This water is freezing." I say bouncing around to try and keep warm. I take another step in so that the water is just under my knees. I fold my arms against my chest and turn to look out at the dark body of water stretching out in front of me. The water ripples beside me as Neville rejoins me. He hands me the empty jar and then bends over to keep looking for more larva. "How many of those do we need?" I ask as I lean over to fill the jar with water. 

"Just two or three, then we're gonna go back and see whats inside of them." 

"Thrilling." I say blandly. I watch the water in the jar swirl around every time I move it, tiny particles and little bits of lake matter floating around in it. 

"Here!" Neville says standing back up with another larva in his hands. I hold out the jar as he lets it go and I put the lid on it. 

"Well I don't know about you but I wan't to get out of this water right now." I say laughing.

"I agree with you there." Neville says making his way back to the shore. I take a moment to linger and watch the water. As I'm walking I step on a slippery rock and my feet are swept from under me and I fall backwards into the icy grips of the water. It feels like all the air left my body as the water engulfs me and the cold takes over me. I open my mouth in shock and water fills my mouth and nose. I feel myself hitting the bottom of the lake and I know I need to get myself out of the water but I can't seem to make my body move the way I want it to. I feel like I'm stuck in the water, like there is the weight of 1000 pounds on my chest. After what feels like forever, I finally feel Nevilles hands grab my wrists and pull me up. 

"Blimey Aster!" He says as he pulls me from the water and towards the shore and sits me on the grass. I'm coughing up water and trying to breathe but I'm really struggling to. I get on my knees and cough up more water. "Professor!" Neville yells and I hear someone running towards us through the long grass. I wipe the water from my eyes and turn to see Snape kneeling down beside me. I sit back into the grass and look up at him. 

"I'm f-fine!" I say between shivers. "I just fell in the water." I move the pieces of wet hair away from my face. Snape puts his hand on my bare arm, its warm against my skin. 

"You're okay? How long were you in the water?" 

"I don't know."

"Just a minute." Neville says nervously. 

"How could you let her fall in?" Snape says harshly. 

"How was he supposed to keep me from f-falling in? I slipped!" I retort. Snape pulls me up from the grass and I feel one of his hands on my back. 

"I'll take her back to the castle." Snape says "If you can manage not messing anything else up I'm sure you'll be able to tell Professor Sprout where Miss Bloom is." Snape says as he leans over to pick up my socks and shoes I had left on the ground. 

"I have a spare change of clothes in there." I say pointing to my bag and Snape picks it up before leading me towards the path that leads back towards the castle. Before I step onto the path Snape stops me and kneels down in front of me and puts one shoe on my feet and then the other. His fingers brush against my bare ankle and he looks up at me, lingering for a moment before standing up. "Thank you Severus." I say quietly. He puts his hand on the small of my back as he leads me towards the castle. My shirt clings to my body and my damp skirt hugs my hips as we enter the castle and Snape leads me back to his office. 

"You may step into the storage closet and change. I need to speak to you after you're done." He says taking a seat at his desk and gesturing back to the closet. I grab my backpack which he set on the floor beside his desk and I step into the storage closet and shut the door behind me. Its small and smells like mildew but I manage to peel off my wet clothes off of me and change into the dry ones I keep in my bag. I'm so clumsy, I've spilled countless potions and the sort all over me so its just been worth it to keep a change of clothes in my bag. When I open the door Snape is still sitting in his chair with his head in his hands. I walk out and sit at the chair opposite his desk. 

"What did you need to talk to me about, Professor?" He lifts his head when I speak. He looks me over for a moment, his gaze distant before he looks away. 

"It's irrelevant, you may leave now if you're not hurt." 

"Oh, alright." I say slowly standing up, hoping that if I linger he will change his mind. I pick up my bag and put one strap over my shoulder and make my way to the door, waiting for one last moment before I pull the door closed behind me and I'm left to the silence of the corridor. 


	5. Don't ever be sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spotify link: http://tiny.cc/qlkfaz  
> This chapter is quite a bit shorter than the others but I wanted to get something up! College is kicking my butt but I'm still trying to make an effort to upkeep with this story. Any feedback on what I've written so far would be lovely!

I watch myself in the small stand up mirror placed on my night table beside my bed, still trying to fully recognize the face that I'm seeing as truly me and not someone wearing a mask with my face on it due to all the makeup that had been put on my face. I stand up straight and look at myself fully in the reflection of the window with the dark night sky cast behind it. Its the evening of the Autumn ball and the castle seems to be alive with a different sort of excited energy. I turn to the side and watch the way my [dress](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/shopping?q=tbn:ANd9GcSw94YcD-yRZZgxWhLuNkKGDaTTEBRnJnux6Eng2r8tNsN36xS908F1ZvrjQt4vJ1DxgKUAyWWdVkbDGD74buwzc28_gSURttnRj5t3ayF5RuUhaskulwkAlyQ&usqp=CAc) hugs my waist and flows as I turn. My hair is pulled back into a loose bun with many red curls escaping from the clips that hold it back and falling around the sides of my face and the nape of my neck. I close my eyes and tune out the excited hum of all the other girls in the Slytherin girls dorm and focus on calming my breathing. There has been a sinking feeling in the bottom of my stomach for nights now that I can't shake. Like everything is slowly caving in around me and I can't do anything to stop it. I finally open my eyes, gather myself and walk out of the dorm and into the corridor. Harry is leaning against the wall outside of the Slytherin dorms and his face lights up when he sees me. 

"Aster! Wow, you look amazing." 

"Thank you Harry, you look quite dashing yourself." I say giving him a smile. He smiles back at me and extends his elbow towards me. I place my hands on his bicep and we start walking toward the grand hall where the ball is taking place. The corridors getting closer to the grand hall gradually become more decorated until we are transformed into an entirely different breath taking world. Strands of fall coloured leaves with a variety of different coloured flowers line the walls with twinkling lights that appear to have no source scattered throughout them. The grand hall itself looks like an entirely different place. A tall tree looks to be growing from the middle of the ground, its branches reaching high towards the ceiling and creating a canopy of orange and red coloured leaves. The air smells sweet and everything is bathed in an orange tinted light. For the first time in days a smile crosses my lips as I'm looking around at the beauty before me. As I'm scanning the room my eyes land on a contrasting black against the dreamy oranges yellows and reds. Its Snape, standing across the room making eye contact with me. I give him a warm smile before I realize whos arm I'm holding onto. Harry leads me to the side of the room where tables are all set up and Ron, Luna, Neville and Hermione are sitting. As I take a seat I turn to look over my shoulder at Snape one more time. Hes standing with his arms folded, intensely watching me. 

***

"I didn't know you could dace like that, Harry." I say putting one hand on his forearm as we walk from the great hall at the end of the night. 

"I didn't know that either." He says with a laugh. "I'm really hot. Would you like to take a step outside for a moment?" He asks stopping and gesturing towards a door that leads outside. I nod and let him lead me out of the school. The cold of the night air instantly bites at my arms through the thin fabric of my dress. We walk down the cobble stone path until we reach the end of the path where the dirt begins and then Harry stops us. He leans against the stone half wall that runs along the sides of the path and looks up at the sky. I follow his stare and look up myself at the dazzling clear Autumn sky. 

"You can really see the stars tonight." I comment, stepping closer to Harry for warmth. 

"Its beautiful, isn't it?" He says, his hand finding its way to the small of my back as he pulls me towards him. "Just like you." I feel my cheeks turn pink and my heart beat picks up. 

"Oh, thank you." I say with a half laugh. Harry turns to me then and puts his hand on the side of my cheek. He starts leaning in for a kiss but the sound of quick footsteps breaks the moment. We both turn to see Snape quickly walking towards us. He stops, the look of pure anger on his face. 

"Go." he finally says coldly. Harry lingers for a moment, looking between Snape and myself. "Go!" Snape snaps sharply. Harrys hand drops from my back and he sighs angerly, quickly walking away. Silence lingers after Harry leaves. I can't even bring myself to say anything. Waves of anger, fear and hurt wash over me. Finally I turn towards the dirt path and begin to walk down it, turning around for a moment as I walk to make eye contact with Snape before continuing on the path. Quickly I hear footsteps following me. _Good._ As if on auto polite, I find myself walking towards the edge of the forbidden forest. I make my way through the forest, trying to navigate my way through the dark. The only thing that keeps me going are my feelings of pure adrenaline rushing through me and the foot steps of the much taller man behind me. Eventually I find my way to the meadow that Draco showed me. The wind gently blows in the opening and I finally stop and turn around to face Snape as he walks into the clearing. He stops and we make eye contact. The moon casts shadows over his stony features and the wind blows his cloak gently. He takes a couple long strides towards me, closing the gap between us so that there is no more than a foot between us. 

"I've thought about it, Aster." He says, his tone tense. 

"And?" Instead of responding he gently puts his hand on my shoulder, trailing his fingers from my collar bone to my exposed neck before his cool fingers settle on the back of my neck. His other hand finds its place around my waist and he uses it to pull me against him. He tilts my head up and firmly presses his lips against mine. My eyes roll back and I stifle a moan as I relax into his arms. I let my arms fall around his broad shoulders as he roughly pulls me closer to him as our kiss deepens. His breath is fast and hot as his fingers dig into my waist. I pop onto my toes to bring myself closer to his face as I tighten my grip around his shoulders. He makes a small noise somewhere deep in his throat as he desperately holds me tighter. My world is spinning and my heart is picking up, but I don't think I could pull away even if I wanted to, considering how tightly hes holding me now. I begin to feel his bulge press firmly against my middle before his hands move to my forearms and he roughly holds me at an arms length away from him.

"I shouldn't of done that, I'm sorry." He says quietly, his fingers pressing into my tender forearms. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, his grip unwavering. I let my eyes flick down to take a glance at the outline of his large bulge forming a suggestive outline in his tight pants. 

"Don't ever be sorry, Severus." I say matching the tone of his voice. A snap of a branch somewhere just inside of the edge of the forest breaks the spell between us and Snape releases his grip on my arms. He turns to look at the edge of the meadow and his hand goes towards his cloak where his wand is. 

"We should get back to the castle." He says, his voice trailing off at the end. 

***

I feel lightheaded as I make my way towards the Slytherin dorms. My thoughts flit from one moment with Snape to another in swirling and confusing waves. I'm walking down an empty corridor when I hear footsteps behind me. I turn around and Draco is marching towards me. His suit jacket is over his shoulder and his white button up is done down slightly. As he walks past me he aggressively bumps my shoulder, sending me into the wall and causing me to nearly lose my balance. 

"Watch yourself, mudblood." He says harshly, not even turning around to look at me again as he walks away. My stomach sinks as the hurt of what Draco, someone who I thought was my friend, just said to me. My mind races trying to figure out what I could of done to turn him so cold to me so suddenly. 


End file.
